I am struggling with this. I am only 17 days (2 1/2 weeks) until I have to return to work. The time is going by so fast. I am trying to mentally and physically prepare myself for this transition for Emar, Brett and myself.
I normally work 8am-5pm M-F with an hour for lunch. I went and talked with my boss (president of the company) last week to discuss me coming back to work. He was very open to a flexible schedule as I return. I return to work on August 1st, which is a Wednesday. I am going to work 1/2 days for Wed, Thurs, and Fri. The following week I will return 9am-4pm without an hour for lunch. We are going to play it by ear from there on what I will do the next week after that, my 2nd full week. I have to work a 1/2 day on the 24th of July so I am doing a trial run with the babysitter. I think it will help a lot.
I know women do this every day so I know I can do it. It's just going to be an adjustment, a hard one in deed. Financially, I can't stay home (well, unless we sold our house, a car, and made other lifestyle adjustments). Mentally, I don't know if I could be a full time stay at home mom. Part time would be ideal but that isn't an option at my work and I love my job and my company. The infamous question keeps popping in my head "Why did I have a child
if I have to pay someone else to take care of him?" It makes me sad to
think about it and of course I get tears in my eyes every time it crosses
my mind (which is often as the date gets closer). It makes me really sad to think that the babysitter will be spending more time with my son than me and Emar. Emar reminded me today that it's a short time in his life (before he goes to school) and Brett will survive and feel loved. I don't know if I am more worried about Brett, or myself :)
To make things more predictable, Brett and I are working on a schedule of Eat, Play, Sleep with Brett. It's going pretty well but we aren't sleeping through the night yet (not expecting him to yet) and we haven't been napping in the crib or pack and play. We will work on the nap situation this coming week. Emar and I need to come up with our own schedule to make sure things go smoothly and that we have as much quality time with Brett (ie cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, dinners, working out, etc.) I am breastfeeding (and supplementing a little to work on building a supply) and wondering how pumping will work when I go back. Not sure how much supply I will need to get us started. Brett will be 9 weeks when I return to work.
I am curious to how other mothers do it. I am open to any advice or pointers you had when you made the transition back to work.
Deep breaths, I know I can do this!
Hi there! Here from PAIL. :) Your heart will ache, but you and Brett will be just fine. It's wonderful if you have a routine going, but don't worry if Brett doesn't do exactly what he does with you when he's with the babysitter. Babies behave differently with different caregivers. Mine has different ways of going to sleep with me, with her father, and with my mother-in-law (her babysitter). It was the same for my neighbor--the baby had a different routine with the babysitter. That's okay. Also, don't worry TOO much about pumping now. As long as Brett is taking the bottle consistently, and you have maybe 20-30 ounces in the fridge and freezer when you start back at work, you should be fine. You'll pump at work (when and where is important to line up with your boss, as I'm sure you've done), and you'll supplement if you need to, as you're doing now. If you want to boost your supply now you can try pumping and feeding without supplementing. I had to pump A LOT at work to keep up my supply (nearly every two hours). A hands-free pumping bra (I used simple wishes) was a lifesaver. Maybe kellymom.com and workandpump.com would be helpful for you. I'll try to stick around to cheer you on and feel free to email!
ReplyDeleteAlso, practical tips: freeze milk in small quantities, like 2 ounces per bag. I froze more at first and found that it got wasted a lot. It has to be used up right away after it's thawed, and an ounce or two often got poured down the drain after I came home. Terrible. I still never freeze more than 3 ounces in a bag. I wrote the amount on the bag, laid it flat, and stacked it in Rubber.Maid take-a-long containers in the freezer with the oldest on top so my MIL could just grab the top one when fresh milk ran out. (And really, 20-30 ounces is a very good amount unless pumping is effortless for you).
DeleteThe other thing is to make sure Brett is taking the bottle consistently. They take it so easily at his age, but some babies (including mine) become resistant between around 8 and 12 weeks if they're not eating from it often. We ended up needing to give my daughter a bottle literally every day to keep her from refusing it, and I had to leave the house when that happened. I hope Brett is a less stubborn about it!
Also here from PAIL. Deep breaths, it will be all right. I concur on the 20-30 ounces pumped and stored (frozen is nice) is a great idea, and in about 2 ounce portions for speedy thawing. I also concluded that as long as those folks caring for my kid were competent, whatever strange things and routines they had were just fine because babies are smart and know who's who. My other tip is twofold: first, always pack everyone's bags the night before so it's easy to grab and go in the morning, and second, pack an emergency baby bag (clothes, diapers, sleeping stuff/lovie/blanket/etc.) and keep it in the car in case you forget the diaper bag at home some time (and maybe pack an emergency duplicate mom bag if you can). The last thing I'd say is that you and your partner should discuss baby night time duty so everyone knows what's going on. We had the spouse going and getting the baby to nurse, me putting the baby back to bed so everyone got a little more sleep. Be really explicit about time division (ie before midnight one of you gets the babe, after the other one does, if not sleeping you alternate baby duty in 90 minute blocks) and other stuff division (laundry, cooking, cleaning, daycare drop off and pick up) because with sleep deprivation you may get befuddled otherwise. Good luck! You'll make it!
ReplyDeleteAlso here from PAIL!
ReplyDeleteA few things from my experience with this (my daughter was 8w when I went back to work):
*The nap schedule will probably be totally different at daycare than home (not that we had much of a schedule going) so don't stress yourself out over there. There is just so much more action, plus someone who doesn't smell like Mommy is putting him down, and that will change things.
*Definitely pack the diaper bag the night before (I even put mine in the car) and have bottles ready to go to grab from the fridge and run. Those minutes in the morning are precious.
*I wouldn't supplement in order to build a supply - if you just add in a pumping session every day IN ADDITION to your nursing, your body will adjust and start making milk for that extra "feeding." Your supply is highest in the morning, so depending on your babe's feeding/sleeping routine, sometime between 6-8am is the best time to add in that pumping session. Give it a few days (or even a week) for your supply to adjust and amp up - but it will!
*I started pumping at 4w and went back to work at 8w and did NOT have very much in the freezer - maybe a couple of bottles, plus 12oz in the fridge (I sent 3 four oz bottles to daycare at that point). Definitely freeze in smaller quantities, but also send milk in smaller quantities. When Stella nurses, she eats about 4oz of milk at a time - though if you give her a bottle, she can easily eat more, so for awhile I was struggling with daycare giving her WAY more milk than I was pumping in the same amount of time. Sure, there are random days that she must be in a growth spurt and wants more, but usually after one bottle (which was 3oz, and is now 4oz), if they feed her that and then burp/play with her, she realizes she is full. If she is still hungry, my daycare lady just warms up a couple more ounces to see if that is enough to top her off.
*Kellymom.com is a great resource for information.
*http://www.workandpump.com/ is another great resource.
Good luck!
Oh - and Stella is way more consistent in her eating patterns now (roughly every 3 hrs, so I send 3 four oz bottles for her to eat at 9am, 12pm, 3pm), but in the beginning, she was all over the place, so I sent 4 three oz bottles, plus 1 frozen bottle, while my daycare lady and I figured out her routine and schedule. That way I didn't spend all day at work worrying if she was going to run out of milk. Maybe your baby will eat 10oz while you're gone, maybe 15-20 (totally depends on how long you're gone as well). Some babies refuse to eat much while you're gone and "reverse cycle" and end up eating a ton at night. Every baby is different. :)
DeleteI agree with giving her a bottle every night in this time leading up to daycare to make sure that she is still used to taking a bottle. We would have my husband do her early evening feeding at 6-7pm and I would pump while he gave her what I had pumped the night before. It wasn't building my supply, but it wasn't taking away from it either. It gave my husband time with her, and it kept her used to the bottle.
Hi! Here from PAIL. Once you get into some sort of routine I'm sure you'll be okay! I've asked myself the same questions that you're asking yourself. It's hard leaving your baby, and I've also wondered why I had one in the first place if I can't stay home. You're not alone!
ReplyDeleteI agree with what previous commenters have said. Brett may be on a dfferent schedule with the babysitter vs. what he does when he's with you. Baby G actually naps better and longer at my parent's (his babysitters) than he does when he is home.
I never know how much milk to pack for Baby G. He doesn't take to the bottle as well as the boob, but every now and then he surprises us and my parents run out of milk. What's helped me is having my parents write down what Baby G does during the day (when he naps & for how long, when he eats & how much). Then I have an idea of how much milk to pack the next day (now I always pack a little extra just in case).
Since Baby G doesn't eat as well as he should during the day our freezer is stocked with milk (I don't think Hubby is too pleased, but oh well). I started stock piling a couple weeks before I went back to work, but I think I could have waited until closer to when I went back to start a supply. I also freeze in 3oz quantities. I figure more milk can be added to the bottle if needed but I don't want any of it going to waste. I also lay the bags flat so they take up less room.
I forgot to add... like one or two other people have said, don't stress if Brett does end up varying from your routine when he's with the babysitter.
DeleteHaving my parents write down what Baby G does during the day has helped because I can put that info into an app I have on my phone (Baby Connect for the i.Phone). After a month of tracking what he did, I realized that Baby G actually put himself on a daytime schedule on his own (I didn't really do the eat, play, sleep thing with him) and we can try and keep to that schedule on the days we are home with him.